This column consists of one liners and quotations that cut to the bone to what we perceive embodies truth. We invite comment that shows any of these epigrams to be untrue.
Send your comments via e-mail to loosecannon@atheiststation.org or mail to: ATHEIST STATION, P.O. Box 1623, Altoona, PA 16603.
EPIGRAMS AND QUOTATIONS
147. "A man that will not use his intelligence is no different than an animal and will be herded to slaughter LIKE an animal."
ADOLPH HITLER
146. "I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs."
FREDERICK DOUGLAS - escaped slave
145. "When I became convinced that the Universe is natural -- that all the ghosts and gods are myths, there entered into my brain, into my soul, into every drop of my blood, the sense, the feeling, the joy of freedom."
ROBERT G. INGERSOLL, Civil War colonel & orator.
144. "They must find it difficult: those who have taken Authority as the truth, rather than Truth as the authority."
G. MASSEY, Egyptologist
143. Harmonious design [God causation] is a fiction because the "fixed sequence of necessary motions [of matter]" is at times favorable to us and at times disastrous. Order is only the unvarying effect of identical causes; in a word, it is regularity without point of purpose.
Physcist BARON d'HOLBACH
142. "No testimony is sufficient to establish a miracle, unless the testimony be of such a kind that its falsehood would be more miraculous than the fact which it endeavors to establish."
DAVID HUME
141. "Pain and Fear, are the parents of all gods."
HUGH B. GOTTFREI
140. METAPHYSICAL ASSERTIONS--
A. The CONSTANCY ASSERTION: A child born into the embrace of any one religion, tends to stay within that embrace.
B. The PRIMORDIAL ASSERTION: Religion ( formal respect for the unknown ) has been the mainstay of the human psyche as an answer for natural phenomena since the dawn of consciousness.
C. The MORALITY ASSERTIONS:
1. Obedience of the law, civil or religious, is a communal requirement. The latter includes code for its self-preservation, but usually lacks timely enforcement. Both condemn a citizen's offense against other citizens.
2. Religion is about humans' relation with their deity, but morality is a person's relationship with his or her companion human.
D. The REPLACEMENT ASSERTION: The advancement of science and understanding is in opposite progression to the dissembling and retreat of religion.
RON STAUFFER (Assertion C-2 is attributed to JOHN HENDERSON, MD.)
139. VOLTAIRE, alluding to the Church, made the motto of his party "Ecrasez l'enfame -- tread down the loathsome thing!"
COLUMBIA HISTORY OF THE WORLD,1988
138. "Our civil rights have no dependency on our religious opinions, any more than our opinions on physics or geometry."
CHRISTOPHER HITCHINS
137. "Who wants to be always in debt to someone who never asked them if they wanted the loan in the first place?"
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS
136. "Now at least, in our immediate day, we hear a Pope saying slave trading is wrong, and see him sending an expedition to Africa to stop it.
The texts remain; it is the practice that has changed. Why? Because the world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession -- and take the credit of the correction. As she will presently do in this instance."
MARK TWAIN, in 'Europe and Elsewhere,' 1923.
The following five quotes are from Mark Twain's 1869 book, "INNOCENTS ABROAD,":
135. "The tomb of Adam! How touching it was, here in a land of strangers, far away from home and friends and all who cared for me, thus to discover the grave of a blood relation."
134. "All this country belongs to the Papal States. They do not appear to have schools here, . . . Their education is at a very low stage. One portion of the men go into the military, another into the priesthood, and the rest into the shoemaking business."
P - 188 (in another place, he observes that "one can not fall out of a third story window without mashing either a soldier or a priest!").
133. " Oh sons of classic Italy, is the spirit of enterprise, of self-reliance, of noble endeavor, utterly dead within ye? Curse your indolent worthlessness, why don't you (to the many beggars outside its doors) rob your church?" Three hundred happy, comfortable priests are employed in that cathedral."
P-185
132. "We find a piece of the true cross in every old church we go up to, and some of the nails that held it together. . . . I think we have seen as much as a keg of these nails."
P-120
131. ". . . we could not feel certain that they were correct-- . . . partly because we had seen St. John's ashes before, in another church. We could not bring ourselves to think St. John had two sets of ashes."
P - 119
130. You can lead a horse's ass to wisdom, but you can't make him think.
BILL WALKER
129. I prefer a president that is more intelligent than myself or Joe Six-pack .
L.C.
128. "The tragedy is that every brain cell devoted to belief in the supernatural is a brain cell one cannot use to make life richer or easier or happier."
KAY NOLTE SMITH, as quoted in the PANVIEWS newsletter.
(Please pardon the following four very negative quotations, but it is our opinion that they should be made public -- to highlite some of the mentality that exists in America today)
-1. "Tatoo an American flag with the words 'In God We Trust,' on the forehead of every atheist."
Actor CHUCK NORRIS
-2. "George Bush was not elected by a majority of the voters in the United States, he was appointed by God."
General WILLIAM G. BOYKIN
-3. "We don't have to protect the environment, the Second Coming is at hand."
Reagon's Secretary of Interior, JAMES WATT.
-4. The Iraq War is a "magnificent success" says ANN COULTER, who also boasts that "I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment." [from a William Harwood book review of KEITH OLBERMANN'S 'THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND 202 STRONG CONTENDERS]
(Now, back to the more positive!!!)
127. "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful."
SENECA
126. "The nation's doctor has been marginalized . . . with supervisors who are political appointees with partisan agendas."
RICHARD CARMONA, former Surgeon General of '43's administration. (TIME 7-23-07)
125. "There is only one way I can visualize religion being a legitimate issue in an American political campaign. That would be if one of the candidates for the presidency had no religious belief."
RICHARD M. NIXON (from TIME, 7-02-07)
(The following three quotes are MARTIN LUTHER'S, as lifted from Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion," page 190.)
124. "Reason is the greatest enemy that faith has; it never comes to the aid of spiritual things, but more frequently than not struggles against the divine Word, treating with contempt all that emanates from God."
123. "Whoever wants to be a Christian should tear the eyes out of his reason."
122. "Reason should be destroyed in all Christians."
MARTIN LUTHER
121. "A professorship of theology should have no place in our institution."
THOMAS JEFFERSON [". . . our institution." being the University of Virginia]
120. "You've got to be taught to hate. You've got to be taught from the time you are six or seven or eight. It's put on your mind, it's handed down, almost like an heirloom, among Christians."
HARRY BERNSTEIN (96 yr old Jewish author)
[ed. note: His quote is a variation of Rogers and Hammerstein's South Pacific Song "YOU'VE GOT TO BE CAREFULLY TAUGHT," which carries a similar message of bigotry. One wonders if his religion were the prevailing majority, would the bigotry have been any different? ]
119. Sam Harris for chief guru in 2008!
L.C.
118. Great minds are not alike.
(unknown)
117. ". . . I know that if you're going to try and change things, you'd better be prepared to find yourself in the headquarters of hell."
MADONNA
116. If you don't take control of your destiny, then someone else -- or something else -- will!
L. C.
115. I would ask: how does the method by which you acquired your [Christian] beliefs differ from the method by which Muslim jihadists acquired theirs?
ERNEST J. ZENKER (9-04-06 Newsweek Letter about Billy Graham cover story)
114. It's not that atheists, agnostics and liberals are overly bright -- the contrast is that religious fundamentalists and conservatives are so ignorant!
OTT TOUPEE
113. An important art of politicians is to find new names for institutions which under old names have become odious [some by design]to the public.
TALLEYRAND
112. Religion is fundamentally opposed to everthing I hold in veneration - courage, clear thinking, honesty, fairness, and, above all, love of the truth.
H. L. MENCKEN
111. We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free.
EPICTETUS (Roman philosopher and former slave)
110. "I would like, and this would be the last and most ardent of my wishes, I would like the last of the kings to be strangled by the guts of the last priest."
JEAN MESLIER (1678 - 1733)
109. As children tremble and fear everything in the blind darkness, so we in the light sometimes fear what is no more to be feared than the things children in the dark hold in terror.
LUCRETIUS
108. Surveys suggest that some 95 percent of Americans are "scientifically illiterate."
CARL SAGAN
107. All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike -- and yet it is the most precious thing we have.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
106. Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science.
CHARLES DARWIN
105. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what one does not believe.
THOMAS PAINE
104. The foundation of morality is to . . . give up pretending to believe that for which there is no evidence, and repeating unintelligible propositions about things beyond the possibilities of knowledge.
T. H. HUXLEY
103. Unfortunately, there will always be Gods, and rumors of Gods.
L.C.
102. Fear of things invisible is the natural seed of that which everyone in himself calleth religion.
THOMAS HOBBES, in 1651.
101. "To be an atheist requires strength of mind and goodness of heart found in not one of a thousand."
SAMUEL TAYLOR COOLERIDGE (1772 - 1834)
100. "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."
Bill Watterson
99. "As time passes, discovering the truth becomes harder and sometimes even impossible." --a statement from the Philadelphia Archdiocese, lobbying the state legislature to avoid hearings of older sex-abuse cases. Isn't that the premise of the founding of their church -- 50 years of hearsay?
98. "If I had not experienced what I have, I could not have believed it my self." The Prophet JOSEPH SMITH, founder of Moronism (sic), said not too long before his death. So much for faith!!!
97. FASCISM- "A system of government that exercises a dictatorship of the extreme right, typically through the merging of state and business leadership, together with belligerent nationalism."
---1983 American Heritage Dictionary
96. GEORGE CARLIN SEZ (Please excuse the expletives but we think it important to show his rightful indignation): "But what these fucking religious right-wing Republican cocksucker fuckheads don't remember is that Jesus Christ--who they look to, Jesus Christ, who they trot out all the time--actually said: Do something for these fucking poor, sick,hungry people. If they're sick, fix them. If they're fucking hungry, fucking feed them."
AND THEN HE GOES ON TO SAY WHAT JESUS WOULD DO: ("Let's change this shit, people.") "He wouldn't have given a fucking tax break to cocksuckers like me and people with all kinds of money."
95. THE FOLLOWING HAS YET TO BE CONFIRMED: A reporter asked President Bush if he could explain "Roe vs. Wade."
"Sure, that's two ways to get out of New Orleans."
94. "What a pity there is no hell."
Christopher Hitchens in his steaming indictment of NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg's and other politicians' religous pandering to religion--in this case, infants contracting herpes as a result of the 'mohel' oral sucking of the blood after circumcision, a practice known in Hebrew as metzitzah b'peh.
93. "I can't believe in the God of my Fathers; If there is one Mind which understands all things, it will comprehend me in my unbelief."
Gerald Kersh
92. "Read other people's myths, not those of your own religion, because you tend to interpret your own religion in terms of fact -- but if you read the other ones, you begin to get the message.
Joseph Campbell
91. The ex-priest, George Tyrrell, said in 1908: "You will be better off to vomit up orthodoxy altogether than try to keep it down.
You will never digest it."
90. Atheism: the honesty to be; the courage to dare.
L.C.
89. "I don't feel your pain. I have to admit that I don't have any sympathy for you. I can't feel for you because you're a non-believer."
Mohammed Bouyeri, murderer, said to his victim's mother, at trial in Amsterdam.
88. "When the missionaries came to Africa, they had the Bible and we had the land. They taught us to pray with our eyes closed. When we opened them, we had the Bible in our hand, and they had the land."
Jomo Kenyatta, Kenyan independence leader and first president.
87. "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Edmund Burke (1729 - 1797)
The following six epigrams are quotes of Hunter S. Thompson, as gleaned from the FUNNY TIMES, April 2005 edition.
86. "Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism."
85. ". . . that [associated guilt] is the history of George Bush's long and prosperous life in government service. His fingerprints are everywhere -- from the oil fields of Texas to Beijing, working always for the hardballers and war hawks -- but his hands remain somehow clean."
84. "The main problem in any democracy is that crowd pleasers are generally brainless swine who can go out on stage & whup their supporters into an orgiastic frenzy -- then go back to the office & sell everyone of the poor bastards down the tube for a nickel apiece. . ."
83. "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours."
82. "Call on god, but row away from the rocks."
81. "I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits -- and millions of Americans agree with me."
------------------------------------------------
80. Science makes no claim to infallibility; it leaves that claim to be made by theology.
John Burroughs
79. Science has done more for the development of western civilization in 100 years than Christianity has done in 1,800 years.
John Burroughs
78. . . . no church property is taxed, so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit in the public income thus caused.
Mark Twain
77. The inventor of the plow did more good than the maker of the first rosary, because, say what you will, plowing is better than praying.
R. G. Ingersoll
76. A believer is a bird in a cage; a freethinker is an eagle parting the clouds with tireless wings.
R. G. Ingersoll
75. The 'truths' of religion are never so well understood as by those who have lost the power of reasoning.
Voltaire
74. Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd and bloody religion that has ever infected the world.
Voltaire
73. Every sect, as far as REASON will help them, make use of it gladly; and where it fails them, they cry out: "it is a matter of faith and above REASON."
John Locke
72. The trinitarian believes a virgin to be the mother of a son who is her maker.
Bacon Noyes
71. All religions are equally sublime to the ignorant, useful to the politician, and ridiculous to the philosopher.
Lucretious Cardiff
70. To argue with a man who has renounced his reason is like giving medicine to the dead. Thomas Paine
69. I don't believe in God. But the world is just as warm, as rich, if not warmer and richer, when seen without a religious point of view.
Time, March 21, 2005 interview with Ian McEwan, Novelist
68. Bizarrely, the 2004 U.S. presidential election was decided by voters who oppose the theory of evolution or await the Rapture or speak in the "unknown tongue" or seek faith heeling or send money to television preachers or think Satan is a real spirit stalking America. James A. Haught, Editor
67. "I am not afraid."
Brian Flemming, fundamentalist turned atheist screen writer
66. I'm sorry, but unless you can prove your position, it isn't considered a truth.
L. C.
65. Virginia, where freedom of / from religion was born [where recently they boasted themselves a state for lovers], is now a state of backsliders and regressives, as their parent, Jesusland, is a confederacy of present day haters.
L.C.
64. God is to spirituality as pornography is to sex.
Larry Beinhart, Author of "Wag The Dog"
63. Pray, a verb, To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Ambrose Bierce
62. The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
Benjamin Franklin
61. The invisible and nonexistent look much alike.
Delos B. McKown
60. Mormons are MoroniC (Get it? Their chief angel is Moroni--hope this doesn't offend any Mormons. By the way, Utah voted for G.W. Bush by a 40% margin).
ALSO, see BOOK REVIEW page for Jon Krakauer's study of the Mormons "UNDER THE BANNER OF HEAVEN."
L.C.
59. "As democracy is perfected,
the office of president represents,
more and more closely,
the inner soul of the people.
On some great and glorious day,
the plain folks of the land
will reach their hearts desire at last
and the White House
will be adorned by a downright moron."
H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
58. "THeology is THinner THan THought." (some might say "THicker THan THought" in that so much real policy--that which is gross and goopy--is based on some deity's existence. But really, theology is shallow in its realtime production).
L.C.
57. "You can't pray and think at the same time!"
LORIE POLANSKY
56. "Why is it that we cannot face the simple truth? Religion is at best unsubstantiated superstition."
MASSIMO PIGLIUCCI, professor of evolutionary biology at the University of Tennessee.
55. Upon the adoption of Virginia's Statute of religious Freedom in 1786, JAMES MADISON wrote to his friend, Thomas Jefferson, that thus in Virginia ". . . was extinguished forever the ambitious hope of making laws for the human mind."
54. "That diabolical Hell conceived principle of persecution rages among some, and to their eternal infamy the Clergy can furnish their Quota of Imps for such business. This vexes me the most of any thing whatever."
JAMES MADISON, in 1774 letter to Wm. Bradford (1751 - 1836)
53. "Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprize every expanded prospect."
JAMES MADISON, in 1774 letter to Wm. Bradford (1751 - 1836)
52. "-- declared the freedom of conscience to be a natural and absolute right." An accepted change to Geo. Mason's draft of the DECLARATION OF RIGHTS in Virginia.
JAMES MADISON, in 1776
51. "Religion itself may become a motive to persecution & oppression. -- These observations are verified by the Histories of every Country antient & modern."
JAMES MADISON, in Constitutional debate, June 6, 1787.
50. "The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
BERNARD SHAW (1856 - 1950)
49. "Question with boldness even the existence of God; because if there be one, He must approve homage of Reason rather than that of blindfolded Fear."
THOMAS JEFFERSON (1743 - 1826)
48. "There has never been nor shall there ever be born any individual with the right or responsibility to govern, limit or compel in any fashion, regardless of ideology, religion, morality, tradition, or for any possible reason, the behavior of another individual."
AARON BROWN
47. "Infidelity . . . consists of someone professing belief in something that he does not belive."
THOMAS PAINE (1737 - 1809)
46. "The world is my country. Doing good is my religion."
THOMAS PAINE (1737 - 1809)
45. "Religions -- a daughter of Hope and Fear, Explaining to Ignorance the Nature of the Unknowable." Ambrose Bierce, (1842 - 1914?)
44. "Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear." THOMAS JEFFERSON (1743 -- 1826)
43. "Atheism -- the honesty to declare; the courage to dare!"
Ron Stauffer (!939 - not yet)
42. "It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bothers me, it's the parts that I do understand."
MARK TWAIN
41. "the best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible."
MARK TWAIN (Samuel Clemens) 1835 - 1910
40. "Intelligence is not an exclusive monopoly of genius; it is an attribute of all men, and the differences are only a matter of degree. If conditions of existence are destructive to genius, they are destuctive to every man, each in proportion to his intelligence. If genius is penalized, so is the faculty of intelligence in every other man. There is only this difference: the average man does not possess the genius's power of self-confident resistance, and will break much faster; he will give up his mind, in hopeless bewilderment, under the first touch of pressure."
AYN RAND (1905 - 1982)
39. As opposed to religion's axiom: "With God, every thing is possible," It is more salient to say that: "Without god (or religion), everything is possible!" L.C.
38. There is a song that says you have to go through hell to get to heaven (I was tempted to leave the typo: heave). The freethinker would counter that: "In the off chance there is a hell, we are going through heaven to get there!" L.C.
37. "They [the Republicans} know the price of everything but the value of nothing."
ANSEL ADAMS (1902 - 1984)
Commenting on the Reagan administration. Newsweek letter writer, Paul Paige, extending this quote to include G.W. Bush .and his neoconservatives in light of the Baghdad Museum sacking. (One of our readers thinks that Ansel Adams may have been para-phrasing an original quote from Oscar Wilde).
36. Reason and experiment have been indulged, and error has fled before them.
SIR ISAAC NEWTON (1642 - 1727)
35. Reason can never be popular. Passions and feelings may become popular, but reason will always remain the sole propriety of a few eminent individuals.
34. . . Art is not patriotic . . . Science is not patriotic . . .
JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE (1749 -1832)
33. Born again, are ya? Try THINKING again !!!
L.C.
32. The Constitution provides religious liberty to all Americans, not just those who proclaim to live "under God."
DR. MICHAEL NEWDOW
31. To recite the Pledge . . . is to swear allegiance to to the values for which the flag stands: unity, indivisibility, liberty, justice, and -- since 1954 -- monotheism.
ALFRED T. GOODWIN, JUDGE. 9th CIR. CT.
30. A magistrate ought not to tender an oath to an unregenerate man. Doing so would force the non-believer to take the name of God in vain.
ROGER WILLIAMS, FOUNDER OF RHODE ISLAND (1603 - 1683)
29. The central CONSERVATIVE truth is that it is culture, not politics, that determines the success of a society. . . The central LIBERAL truth is that politics can change a culture and save it from itself.
SEN. DANIEL PATRICK MOYNIHAN, (1927 - 2003)
28. "Fight the agents of the Devil. God will give us victory."
OSAMA BIN LADEN (1957 - SOON)
(In contrast, the above quote of bin Laden's could very well have issued from many pulpits in this country too. It seems so few realize that ludicrous religious verbage is every where?)
27. Fundamentalism is much about fear of the unknown; Atheism is ALL about celebrating life!
26. The Cultural War has been declared by the apostles of Faith. If war is not good, how good can Faith be? Sounds like JIHAD to me!
L.C.
25. This is for ALTOONA'S "CONSERVATIVE RADIO" STATION, WRTA (certainly not color radio):
"Although, it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people; it is true that most stupid people are conservative."
